"It will get better each day."
It's funny how much things can improve in just one day. That section in the music that made you want to stab your eyes out yesterday suddenly clicked today. The amount of money on your bank account from Thursday to Friday can go from red to green. The feeling of darkness and dispair over the recent loss of a loved one can suddenly feel lighter and lifted. That horrible stomach bug that left you hugging the toilet yesterday has left your body today. The list goes on and on...
So, if every day matters, if things can change so much, why do we wish for the days to fly by? Why don't we enjoy the improvement from yesterday in all of our today's? Are we just in too big of a hurry to see if tomorrow is even better? Do we just prefer to see the negative?
I am bad about that. Thinking "only 3 more hours until the end of the day and I can go home," "only another hour until bedtime," "only 2 more days until the weekend." But why? Is it really that much better? Is today that horrible? In all honesty, no. I have a pretty nice life: spending my dsys making music with kids and laughing, great friends who are always there, sweet daughters and a husband who does far more for me than I deserve...It's a pretty good life.
I will admit, the devistion of last week was huge. Massive. Gut wrenching. But all of those things I just listed? They were all there for me each and every day.
We all need to take a moment (or hours) each day to enjoy today. Think about all the amazing things you do everyday, all the wonderful people. It's a great day to be alive...Today...
Tuesday, February 7, 2017
Sunday, February 5, 2017
Eviction Notice
"I have your results...are you sitting down?"
The nurse didn't have to say another word. The weight of what was about to be said hit me like a ton of bricks. The anticipation was making my heart race. I had known in my gut all weekend that this news was coming, but the hope to be that "50% of the time it's nothing" was still alive.
"Your levels dropped so dramatically between Thursday and Saturday that they are now in the levels that we definitely consider to be negative. I am so sorry."
I couldn't breathe. My entire body went numb. The nurse was still talking to me on the other end of the phone...something about when the bleeding stops...something about my next cycle "because this isn't a cycle, obviously..." I could hear her, but I couldn't. My brain had completely shut down.
"So, call if there's pain or major saturation. Call if there's still bleeding in two weeks. Two regular cycles and you can try again. Just...just try to have a good day, dear."
The nurse didn't have to say another word. The weight of what was about to be said hit me like a ton of bricks. The anticipation was making my heart race. I had known in my gut all weekend that this news was coming, but the hope to be that "50% of the time it's nothing" was still alive.
"Your levels dropped so dramatically between Thursday and Saturday that they are now in the levels that we definitely consider to be negative. I am so sorry."
I couldn't breathe. My entire body went numb. The nurse was still talking to me on the other end of the phone...something about when the bleeding stops...something about my next cycle "because this isn't a cycle, obviously..." I could hear her, but I couldn't. My brain had completely shut down.
"So, call if there's pain or major saturation. Call if there's still bleeding in two weeks. Two regular cycles and you can try again. Just...just try to have a good day, dear."
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