It's Not Resolutions, It's a Revolution of Myself

The year Two-Thousand-Seventeen was one like no other. It started with impulsiveness that led to a spiral of many more rash, poorly planned choices. It was a year of desperation, demolition, darkness...but also a year of awakening, aversion, and absolution. People have come into my life and people have left; doors have closed but windows have opened. But I'm ending the year less guarded, less concealed, and more true to myself than I've been in years.

A new year is on the horizon, meaning a fresh start, new hope, and a way to reboot. I'm not one for "resolutions," though. I don't accept failure or anything less than full effort, and with resolutions all I see is just that: unattainable, massive promises to yourself that you end up breaking by spring. I am, however, highly driven by lists and goals. I love the feeling of checking something off a list, of pushing yourself to reach something new and bettering yourself. Therefore, I've decided to create a small list of goals for myself to complete in the upcoming year. They may sound more like statements or affirmations, but they are definitely aspirations for me to work towards:

1) "I will live for myself and as my true self this year."

What this will look like in my life: First and foremost, this means no longer putting myself last. It means making choices based on what I want/need, not what I think others will want/need me to do. This means accepting myself as I am, my strengths as well as my short comings, and embracing myself. It means learning more about my illness and accepting it as part of me. It means no more hiding behind walls, it means letting people see me and allowing them the choice of acceptance or rejection and being okay with either outcome. It means loving the skin I am in. It may involve changes and working to better myself, but not because I'm horrible...only because I want to be the best I can be.

2) "I will learn to feel, express, and process my emotions in a healthier way."

What this will look like in my life: Mindfulness & validation. Lots of reflecting and writing. Improving my interpersonal effectiveness and communication skills. It means taking "Plan B" off the table and pushing through. It will all start with mindfulness, articulating with feeling words, and self-validation, though. That's the key right there: knowing how I feel, why I feel that way, and telling myself that it's okay to have emotions.

3) "I will accept help when I need it and ask for help when I want it."

What this will look like in my life: This means learning to say no sometimes. It means being real with people and being a little vulnerable at times. It means delegating and letting go of control. It means being able to say, "I need some time," or "Would you mind taking care of this?" It means taking a mental health day or not volunteering for every extra thing because you want to help everyone else. It means knowing my limits and accepting them.

4) "I will be true, intentional, and present."

What this will look like in my life: I will be honest with myself and those in my life. I will take time to enjoy the simple things, give others the attention they deserve, allow the moments to happen and be a part of them. It means making choices with purpose, communicating clearly and honestly. It means learning more about mindfulness and applying the skills.

5) "I will take a moment each day to reflect on the positive both in my life and within myself."

What this will look like in my life: Reflection and writing. Accepting compliments. Noticing the little things just as much or more than the big things. Affirmations. Taking time to tell people what they mean to me. Writing thank you cards or messages. Writing letters. Being aware of every single day and not getting lost in the routine or the bland. Not letting life just wash over me.


Out with the old, in with the new.
Welcome, 2018.
Looking forward to a year full of possibilities and new beginnings.