Memphis

2017 has had a very emotional start: there's been heartache, devistation, financial worries, work stress, confrontation, anxiety, extreme loss...we've had it all. So I made plans with 3 of my closest, best friends to take a weekend for the 4 of us to just have a getaway and have fun.

We decided on Memphis as the destination. We booked an incredibly cute home on Airbnb. We made minimal plans besides having fun and enjoying each other. We brought games and went to the grocery on the way to stock up on snacks and drinks. We enjoyed a little bit of the city, and most especially the zoo. We also enjoyed just catching up.

I am feeling beyond thankful for these wonderful ladies this evening as I sit back at home, listening to the rain, waiting for my daughters to fall asleep. I needed a break from it all, if only for 48 hours, to process all that I have been carrying in silence for the past few months. I needed to laugh, dance, act like a total fool, indulge myself with good food and a little too much alcohol. I needed a reminder that I am not alone, that it's okay to ask for help, and that there's no shame or guilt (or large amounts of apologies) needed.

I'm also feeling incredibly thankful for the men we each have in our lives. They willingly let us all abandon them for the weekend and go to a "rough city" and let us be free. They cared for our babies, human and fur, and endured dealing with parental units of their own. They didn't complain about us going one bit (at least not to our faces). I'm not sure which of them knew the circumstances that lead me to request this pilgrimage, but regardless they all seemed to fully support us.

I know there's still more work to be done on my emotional health and healing journey, but I can't even begin to say what a difference just getting away and speaking what's been in my head for the past few weeks did. I feel ready to take on the world and like I have some new tools to try to fix things.

I was drowning, but three amazing people came to save me. They threw the rescue rope just in time. Now I can work on traveling back to the shore and putting on dry clothes and recovering. You gals are the best, and I hope that I can repay you half of what you've given me in our friendships. All the love, all the love.