Being a Better ME

It's funny the revelations that come from a weekend of drinking with your best friends, but regardless of how they happen, sometimes we all just need that vantage point to make a change. It's been a bumpy start to the year, and while I've been trying my best to "keep appearances" and "stay positive," it's really hit me. Mostly it's just been a sense of apathy about life in general: sitting at my desk at work during planning time but ignoring the stack of things I need to do, sitting on the couch at home instead of cleaning (or sometimes even instead of parenting), being okay with PB&J or cereal for dinner 3 nights in a row, avoiding talking to people...think of something apathetic and I was probably doing it.

Now I've come back from my weekend of laughs and too much alcohol, had an entire week to do whatever I want, and I think I have a handle on things. I've spent a lot of time thinking, planning, talking to people I trust, and here's what I have come up with: I need to be a better ME. I need to be the best ME I can be. What does that mean? Does that mean being a good, moral person? Eh, maybe, maybe not. It means making sure that I am taking care of myself so that I can, in turn, take care of others and the world around me. That's really what I've been lacking while all the chaos has transpired since late-December: somewhere in all the loss, stress, and care I forgot that I was being impacted and therefore I also needed comfort, care, food, etc. It seems so simple yet I know I am not the only person who forgets to take care of myself.

So, here's how I'm going to do it; here's my list to be the best ME I can be:
1) Take 30 minutes everyday for myself. It might be first thing in the morning, it might be the last thing before bed, it may be that I go hide in the bathroom...but I am going to take 30 minutes everyday just for me. No children, no work, no HOA, no pets, no one else's problems...that's what the rest of the day is for. I can use this time to read, I can use it to listen to music, I can use it to write a blog post, I can use it to eat a bowl of ice cream: the beauty is that it's whatever I want JUST FOR ME.

2) Drink more water. Seems silly, but the other day I literally drank a giant coffee, two sodas, a cherry slush with 2 shots of vodka, and finally I felt so insane from the amount of caffeine and sugar that I took a sip of water with some ibuprofen. I need water.

3) Make smarter eating choices. Again, seems silly? I have been eating a lot of carbs and sugars. These foods make me fat and tired, meaning I sit on the couch and get sad thinking about how fat I am. Must. Eat. Better. Veggies everyday! Yes!

4) Daily sunshine/physical activity is a must. The easiest way to do this from now until school gets out is going to be to use these two 15 minute blocks I have where there's a gap between classes. There's a walking track out behind our school, and my fat ass is going to be doing laps. Not running perhaps but at least walking and listening to some good music or admiring the beauty of the outdoors. Still thinking what I will do in case of rain, but I will figure it out.

5) Remove negative influences and avoid people who either focus on negative or make me feel negatively about myself. There's always those people who try to bring everyone down with them. There's always that one person who says what they want when they want without any regard to you or your feelings. There's always that person who you really love but then turns out they were just using you or that they really didn't care abut you and they stab you in the back. The last few months have been eye opening for me with some people that I am around daily, so I am going to work on fixing that. This may mean I end up becoming a recluse, but then again some experiences recently have also shown me that some people are even more amazing than how amazing I already thought they were. (That got really wordy and confusing but I don't know how to make it better, so I will just say--all the love, all the love.)

6) Stay on top of things/try not to procrastinate. Because stress. The end.

7) Be sure to show love and gratitude to those around me, especially those who have been picking me up a lot lately. You never know who else could be bottling things up and they may just need a little love to make their day better.

This may sound kind of like a New Year's Resolution, but hey, it's April 1 so NOT A NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION because nobody actually does those. Also not an April Fools joke, just FYI.

Here's to being a better person, the best me I can be. Because I am awesome and deserve that for myself. Because all the awesome. Because all the love. Because...okay, bedtime...