It's kind of becoming my new, unintentional mantra. I just can't get going down the tracks towards the correct destination or with any momentum. Work, life, relationships, home, marriage, finances: everything is constantly on the tipping point; everyday I drop one of the plates I'm spinning. It's like a game to wake up each day and see what will stay in place and what I will let drop...what will I fuck up today?
Is it ever going to let up? Will I ever stop feeling the shame of failure? Will I continue to sound like a whiny child?
There's good days and bad days I guess. We can't all be perfect. I just...I can't shake this feeling that by taking even the smallest step, I am leaving a trail of disaster. I feel like the plague, a bomb, the worst kind of anything.
I'm sorry to all who have had to deal with my messes.
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