Numbers Game

I stopped at 18 because it felt appropriate to end with how many IOP sessions I was approved to attend. But here's some number stats on my illness & treatment...

1: The number of ER visits.
2: The number of psychiatrists I've seen.
3: The number of suicide plans I've made.
4: The number of antidepressants I've tried since July.
5: The number of days I spent inpatient.
6: The number of people in my support system.
7: The number of times I self harmed in August.
8: The number of unsafe purchases I have made since August.
9: The number of weeks I've been in individual therapy.
10: The number of times I feel worthless on an average day.
11: The number of times I've called or have been called by my psychiatrist's office since getting out of the hospital.
12: The number of days I've wanted to end it all.
13: The number of people in the ADU.
14: The largest number of people I've seen in group in one night.
15: The number of times I've used grounding techniques this month.
16: The number of planning periods I've wasted due to depression.
17: The number of lines I had on my arm when I went inpatient.
18: The number of Intensive Outpatient Program sessions I get to attend.